Making love last doesn’t need to be trying. Here are 6 simple secrets that will help keep your romance alive over time.
You’ve finally found love. But since some time has passed you’re scared it’s starting to flounder. How do you help make sure your love stays alive? What separates relationships that last from ones that fizzle? Here are 6 more secrets to lasting love that will help you find out.
1. Speak their love language
Everyone shows affection in different ways, and each person has a unique way they want to receive affection. Some people need undivided attention. Some need physical affection. Others like practical gestures; like helping with the laundry, cooking, and completing the chore list without being asked.
Your partner may not know how they register your love for them. They could ascribe great meaning to something you do without thinking, yet feel neglected from a grand gesture you poured your heart into. Dig deep and find out what you both need to feel special, then do those things for each other.
2. Do what works
Forget about what you think should work in a relationship. Theories and advice are good, but if they’re not resolving your issues find a new remedy. Once you have found something that works for your romantic arrangement make that your go-to. It’s important not only to remember what works, but then also build on it. As you grow, your relationship grows. You have to keep updating what keeps your relationship running as well. If something that was helpful stops working note the change and hatch a new plan. Don’t waste time repeatedly using failed measures hoping they’ll start working again.
3. Have new adventures
Exploring your partner as a person is exciting and new. But that fresh feeling fades over time. And as you and the relationship get older the world and your lover no longer seem so mysterious. But exploring new areas of interest or exotic locations can bring back that sense of adventure. It may also cause anxiety or fear, but if used in the right way with the right amount these negative emotions can bring you closer together. Exert some brain power or physical energy together and those butterflies will come back.
4. The little things
Focusing on the little everyday things can help you avoid having big problems later.
Scrambling to handle a crisis creates a roller coaster effect in your relationship. Tensions build over time if you ignore a mounting issue or dismiss your partner’s needs. It’s not until things explode that you spring into action and try to put out the flames. But ultimately the cycle continues and nothing really gets resolved, because you don’t learn to discuss problems as they arise. Instead, stop and give a small wrinkle your full attention until it’s smoothed out.
5. Let go of before
Focus on the now. Leave the past behind you and don’t bring it up in situations where it’s not relevant. Referring back to bad behavior when you’re riled up just to make your point pushes you apart even further. This starts a pattern of living in and fighting with memories; a reality that can’t be changed. You can only change your future. Respect the work and experiences that can allow you to make sure your future together doesn’t resemble the past.
6. Keep dating
Never stop dating. It’s an oldie but a goodie. Plan weekly date nights or monthly getaways where you and your beau can just relax together. Combine this with your new adventures to keep things interesting. New cuisines, new cities and new hobbies will help feed the fire your sparks started long ago.
Staying in love takes work. Passion and commitment are not always compatible. And one without the other won’t keep your romance together. So take these tips and reignite a fading flame, or keep a raging one going for years to come.